Friday, 3 May 2019

Change

Third year of PhD draws to a close. There's massive amounts of work to be completed and yet, I feel as if I have crossed a bridge and reached the other side. In my time at Columbia, I have taken 27 or more courses. The driving force behind this madness was simply an insatiable desire to feel comfortable in the field in which I will seemingly be called an "expert." I paid the price. Walking a deadline tightrope meant 3-4 hours of sleep, innumerable anxious moments, and extreme concentration.

The mischief is almost managed. The courses are no longer needed. Research, in all its effervescent glory and macabre anxiety, awaits. I am six months behind where I needed to be.

I said earlier I have reached the other side. That entails eschewing the morbidly familiar and plunging into missteps and dead-ends.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

I have changed.

(Last post: https://haarisian.blogspot.com/2016/10/change.html)

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